Thursday, May 8, 2014

natural disasters


An earthquake rippled underneath me last night just before midnight! Lasted about 5 seconds but my heart's pulse was obvious; its thumping erratic. A surge of adrenaline! I might as well have downed three quick shots of espresso! Fight or flight--my body prepared itself to embrace the impact of collapsing walls if necessary. 

The act of being shaken is so dramatic. I guess the shocks people in the automobile industry count on this. It also explains the absence of “shake you” rides at amusement parks. I mean the rides shake, but that's usually a bad sign, right? Especially if they're meant to whoosh you around in giant loop d loops. I hate roller coasters. But one last earthquake before I hit the road ain't bad. Although I'm not technically driving to New York. 

My tickets have been booked. The countdown begins. I'm thrilled and nervous, giving away furniture, minus a couple bookshelves. I'm keeping all my books this time. Fuck it, I've accumulated an excellent collection this go-around. I'm not giving these babies up like I always do, even though they weigh so damn much. The gifted Kindle (collecting dust in the other room) can bite me for now. I've gone completely digital everywhere else. I will enjoy my paper pages as I enjoy the texture of cheese on my tongue. These tactile experiences help us appreciate our bodies. Our fingers, eyes, tongue, teeth. Every inch receptive to sensual fulfillment. 

On the minus, the smell of a rotted carcass led me to the stove yesterday and today. I thought I'd found the source when I pushed the stove from the wall and found a tiny mouse, attached and dead, on a sticky sheet of glue. I wrapped it in a bag and tossed it, but the smell persisted, and dramatically increased the next day. I pushed the oven again and found a long-dead pocket gopher, as big as my hand, attached to another trap.

There's nothing so visceral as the smell of death in your home. It's an invasion. A reminder of how all things expire, more often under violent, rather than peaceful, circumstances. I'll take these natural disasters as a sign that my time in LA has expired. The extra month here is a curse. But I will remain calm and make the best of it.

Ps. Cinco de Mayo was fun this year.


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