Monday, August 6, 2012

a fly a bee a speck for me

Today, since I took a long walk to the library to participate in something they call Sing-A-Long book Time, I thought a nice sitting-and-doing-nothing session was in order. I have to decompress from being in public mommy mode surrounded by everyone's own version of Felix. It's strange to a group of people so vulnerable yet guarded at the same time. Especially these stay-at-home daddies, sitting Indian Style on the floor with their daughters, singing along with juice cups in hand explaining, "We share, Madison," whenever another teetering baby comes along to try a sip of mystery juice. "Share" is the first concept babies must learn when they're putting objects and textures to words; this comes after the phase of tasting every toy, speck or fuzz before memorizing what constitutes actual food.

One afternoon I let Felix outside onto the terrace where I knew I'd removed all objects breakable, poisonous or sharp. Lo and behold when Felix comes at me with something in his mouth. When I ask for it--he spits out a fly and a bee, dead and dried from some grave of cobwebs. I said one word, "gross," which made him smile. Maybe the bug thing was his idea of a joke. I'll never know.

But getting back to the stay-at-home daddy thing, I see more and more, the less insular I become, and in a way I'm grateful at the sight which always reminds me that 2012 isn't at all a homogenous blur fusing into every other decade. Changes are happening. A shift in priorities. Men are stepping up as nurturers. Women are using their brains to make money. We're in the middle of a big shift here. And depending on who's coupling with who, it's nice that we get to be ourselves in terms of compatibility isn't it? Let the macho men be macho, and the mama's boys be mamas. As for me, I'm fine when it comes to being on thumbtack patrol. It's my choice after all.

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