Wednesday, July 29, 2009

they made us make air punching motions

I was in a car the other day with three friends and with the way they were jiving bubbly we-did-whats about Saturday, I punched the NOTES key on my iPhone and began butterfly netting and tip-tapping everything. These word salads are the result:

You know how they do that thing
where they touch your back in that very uncomfortable place
& then there's a big hole? I was on my bike for ten hours & now my back & butt muscles have been compromised. Less muscle tenderness is what I want. And spandex padding to reduce the pain from chafing. I can't even push through. The people who go to the gym are very normal or our age or clean cut or younger. I met them at a scavenger hunt. One was at the end of pier 45. A cover band invited me to their acoustic gig at Arlene's Grocery. It was like Bon Jovi karaoke. It was a relay race. A pole dancing mini class. Sometimes they made us make air punching motions. They had strip bowling to get us down to our socks & shoes. Bullriding. Pogo sticks. Everyone stayed around for the afterparty. The winners got second place last year. They won
roundtrip tickets on Southwest to whereever.

&: Did you hear about the python that ate the alligator?
The alligator busted out of the python's stomach while it was asleep & it died. Pythons are taking over the Everglades. The largest spiderweb subsided cannibalism for a little while after a big rain. There was a feeding frenzy. Spiders were feeding & spinning. There were dead mosquitoes everywhere. They were sharing & combining webs from an abundance of food. When I was a child, you know how they have those mints in bowls when you're leaving restaurants, I reached for a mint & began chewing it until I realized it was a piece of chalk;
it was the worst thing I've ever tasted in my life.



JR's Thumbprints said...

It's all good as long as it's right justified. If it were left justified, the last thing we'd see is the jagged edges.

F said...

I once ate a pineapple, whole-like. It danced around in my stomach and burst out -finally-, scratching at the linings of my stomach what-not.
It did this while I slept, clever little apple of pine. napple of Pin.

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