Friday, October 12, 2007

on dreams

For Robert: An explanation

Because of the way that my memory capacities function, I have often found myself ruffled from images that appear in my dreams, images I can't shake; conjured events as if they'd really happened more vividly than in real life .

I think about it this way: the sum of my experiences are based on remembered events being utilized in applicable situations (otherwise moments are lost and forgotten forever, unless written down, or spoken of to a second party, which in part turns the events into tangible observations.)

In my wicked subconscious, which absorbs information like a space sponge and mixes it with exposures in real life: i.e., events, movies, media, books, people; I never really know ‘what dreams may come’ and be remembered---with their every crispy creamy gory details strange enough to make David Lynch's strangest movies look like sugar cookie tea parties in comparison.

I could get into it. I could explain in detail; the feelings of having all my fingers sliced off by a madman, of being shot, stabbed, bitten with sharp teeth and drained, mauled by humans out of their right minds, arrows in my side, gut punches, cars smashed with warm blows to the head and hot blood on my face, wing’d creatures chasing in grocery stores , of a soaring weightlessness, extracted teeth , swarms of insects devouring bodies from the head down.

Omnipotent powers, masterpiece landscapes, characters, terror, vending machines, floods, sex with whoever I desired living or dead, playing people like puppets in virtual cities made of bright colors and people's heads and insides and smashed animals screaming all over the streets with expressionless drivers sitting in traffic, deities with good advice, guardians, of dying, real hell, heaven, purgatory. I’ve seen it. I’ve been there.

As bazaar as it sounds, I think I remember dreams that people aren’t supposed to have the ability to remember, which can sometimes be very inconvenient for me, though understandably interesting for others to look upon, even if only for the sake of defending their own contextual stability. Ironically too, one of my first memories as a baby, is of a dream; driving a rocking chair down a street with stuffed animals surrounding me on all sides.

I fell out of bed a lot as a child.


Robert said...

Wow, quick turnaround. You big onion.
This is all interesting stuff too. Your brain must be shaped like a Venn diagram or something, the left hemisphere slightly over-lapping the right, with all manner of wild shit in the middle.
That's clearly the logical explanation.
You have a mathematical mind like the Spoon song.

Sabra Embury said...

"Boring daily routine, dependency, and indifference. A need to act with more passion and conscience. In a stressful situation, it often calls up the irrational dream of a life of leisure. However, this image can also refer to how to make a work routine better, a prerequisite for working more creatively and independently..."

I have no idea what this means.

I have recurring dreams about floods, tornadoes, nuclear explosions, vending machines, and lucid driving dreams wher I let go of the wheel of drive upwards on impossible inclines. The rest are generally random and thrive upon whatever I'm exposed to throughout the week. I try to stay sheltered from graphic violence in that respect.

I don't remember ever having seen credits myself, but that's definitely an imprint from watching too much tv.

Sabra Embury said...

the vending machines are usually where vending machines are supposed to be, amongst other vending machines, but sometimes they are in the middle of nowhere.

They dispense crazy things too, sometimes, like money or purses, but normally it's just chips and other edibles.

I used to have a thing about shaking vending machines and getting free snacks. It's only payed off a couple times, and back in the day it was much easier when they weren't so damn sturdy like they are now, but it was about winning mostly, since money wasn't the issue, or it could've just been early attampts at being a vandal, at being rebelious. A brief phase of kleptomania replaced this whimsy.

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